Communication Skills – How to Solve the #1 Communication Problem

There is a simple communication tip that will help you improve your communication skills and become a good communicator.

The biggest communication problem lies in its interpretation. Unfortunately, we often make a severe mistake making decisions based on what people are SAYING to us rather than on what they are actually DOING. 

Think about it: the whole world does this with politicians. We vote for them mostly because we believe in their words and not because they proved us something with their actions. And obviously, some people are really good speakers.

Thus, if you want to understand what a person is really communicating to you, be smart and notice their ACTIONS and not their WORDS. Notice if what they are doing is congruent to what they are saying.

So for example, if you are looking to get into a business cooperation with a partner who assures you that they will do a lot of things but for a long time you don’t see any action, just promises, or you even see them doing the opposite of what they are saying, then you should probably stop believing this person and cease your cooperation.

Let me give you an example: you have a business partner who talks about ethics, honesty, transparency, and integrity in the cooperation. But then you find out that they are hiding things from you and, what is more, they are inconsistent with actually doing what they promise. It would have saved me so much precious time as an entrepreneur in the past if I had been noticing actions instead of words.

On the other hand, there are some friends or business associates who ALWAYS show up, are always around when you need them, take action and show their interest even if you don’t ask for it. Their actions are completely congruent to what they are saying and these are the people you should keep close to you because their behavior is aligned with their words.

Also, one more tip to notice in making your communication with others clearer is if YOUR actions are aligned and CONGRUENT to what you are saying. For example, if you repeatedly say that you want to do something but you never really make the time or effort to actually do it, it means that you don’t really want to do it. On the contrary, if you really want something, if it’s important to you, you will find the time to do it. It will save you and people around you so much precious time if you say what you really want to do and learn to understand what other people really mean when communicating to you.

So the main takeaway here is to remember that a person’s actions communicate exactly what they want to say to you. Moreover, to become a great communicator, you have to be authentic and true to yourself and make sure that your actions are aligned with what you say.